A Mother's Mission Field

I have such great intentions…I mean really great ones.  I intend to get up early in the morning and have my meals planned out each day.  I intend to be patient with my kids and cheerful with my husband all the time   I intend for each school day to go smoothly and to have fun and creative things planned for the kids so that they just LOVE it.   I intend to not let the laundry pile up ever again.  I intend to have a really clean house with all of the toys organized and put away in their proper places at the end of each day.   I intend to never let that piles of things build up on the kitchen counter AGAIN. 

I intend to be that super mom who can just….do it all.  I want to be all of those things I mentioned and so much more here at home, and I also want to get involved with things.  I want my kids to see me serving the Lord by doing things.   There are so many ways that I can do that - women's bible studies, women's missionary circles, MOPS, visiting shut-ins who need cheering up, inviting someone new at church over for a meal, going door-to-door to invite people to church.  There are just so many things that I could do!

Those are my wonderful and well planned intentions.  Here is the reality…I don't get up early because I stayed up late catching up on housework, painting signs for my business, and being up with my sweet little night owl Paul 6 times throughout the night.   I end up realizing that the meat I needed to be thawed for dinner is still frozen…at 5pm.  I grow rather impatient around the 317th time I have heard "Mommy?" during the day.  I take out my tiredness on my husband.  My school days rarely go as planned and crafts and fun activities go out the window just so that we can get through the basics.  I always have mountains of laundry either needing to be washed or needing to be folded, and the toys…oh, the toys.  If the insurance company could see my house, they would drop us like a hot potato because of all the toy hazards that are lying around my house on a daily basis.  I have been very nearly killed by many a truck at the bottom of a dark stairway…and those Legos and tiny tractors - my feet have been impaled by them more times than I can count.  And then there is the constant pile of papers, toys that need to be fixed, coloring pages, and pretty rocks that are always piling up on my kitchen countertops. 

As it turns out…raising kids is hard work.  It is exhausting.   With 5 kids ages 8 years down to 8 months, just thinking about going somewhere wears me out.  It takes me more time to get everyone ready and get out the door and loaded into the car than it does to actually grocery shop.  A trip to the library is an all-day affair.    There is something to do at home to fill every single hour of every single day.  Diapers, sippy cups, training, correcting, math problems, reading books, dishes, loving, kisses and snuggles, meals, housework, playtime…the list is absolutely endless.   Which leaves me with this dilemma…

There is no way I can fit in those super mom activities.  The women's bible studies, the missionary circles, the MOPS groups, the visiting, the door-to-door visiting….I can't seem to do any of it.  And not being able to do any of it has left me feeling like I am just not doing enough for the Lord.  I am not doing enough to get involved and serve.  I have so much to do at home that I have no time to give myself to others.   How am I supposed to be a good example of a servant for the Lord to my children if I have no time to be one?  I asked the Lord…."Where is my mission field?"  Missionaries go and serve the Lord in foreign countries and I can't even make it to a women's meeting.  Most Sundays I can't even make it through a sermon without my little guy needing me.  "What can I do to serve the Lord and be a good example to my children?"

And then I looked at these precious little ones that God has entrusted to my care and I realized.  This is my mission field. 

I am in the middle of it every day.  Teaching and training these little hearts for the Lord is the mission that He has so graciously given me.  Why am I looking for more things to fill my time when the biggest and most important task is in front of me each day, looking to me for guidance?   If I become involved in activities serving the Lord outside my home and don’t leave enough time to disciple my own children's hearts, I will fail at the most important task the Lord has given me. 

So right now, today, I can't go to meetings.  You probably won't see me door-to-door calling.  I can't do much visiting or entertaining, but here is what I can do.

I can read the Bible with my children and help them hide it in their little hearts.  I can tell them Bible stories and sing songs with them about God's love.  I can teach them character lessons and help them to see the type of person that God wants them to be.  I can demonstrate God's love for them by caring for their needs…cooking meals, changing diapers, comforting them when they are hurt, correcting them when needed, listening attentively to their stories.  I can serve my family joyfully and without complaint and model for them what a servant's heart should look like.  I can do my best to know their hearts so that I can continue to guide them as they grow.    I can help them see that they are sinners in need of a Savior.   I can be an example to them of how a Christian should live and behave.   

When I really stop and think about what the most important thing is for me to do in this life…the little things all fade away.  In the end it will not matter how clean my house was (thank goodness), which meetings I attended, what activities we were involved in, and that we did cute crafts and cool science experiments.   Although it is still important for me to take opportunities to share the gospel and serve whenever I can, during this stage of my life I know that what is most important is right in front of me right now…the children that the Lord gave me to raise for His glory. 

What I want more than anything is to know that I did everything possible to ensure that my children love and serve the Lord and do it with their whole hearts.  I want to know that I did all that I could do to win their little hearts for Him.  I want to see them in heaven someday.  THIS is my mission field, and I am so very blessed to serve the Lord here.   

** Image is of a set of signs I painted for my son's room.  You can purchase them in my Etsy shop here.  I love putting reminders on my walls - and this is a great one to keep me focused on the most important lessons I need to teach each day!

15 Things No One Told Me About Breastfeeding

Being a mama of 5 kids, all born within the last 8 years, I have spent an unimaginable amount of hours nursing babies in the last few years.  I have nursed babies in too many locations to count - from the most comfortable of rocking chairs, to the back seat of my car, to a public bathroom (not proud of that one).  It has made me laugh and cry.  It has been the most wonderful experience ever…and also the hardest and one of the most painful.  One thing that breastfeeding does is that it gives you time to THINK - and here are some of my thoughts on what I have learned about breastfeeding.

#1:  It's hard.

I know.  You were expecting me to say how awesome it is, huh? I mean, you mostly only see those pictures of women happily rocking and breastfeeding these tiny, sweet bundles who had perfect latches as soon as they were born.  But I learned quickly with the birth of baby #1 that it can require some serious hard work and dedication.   

When my first baby, Cody, was born, there were some complications and he was a teeny, tiny 4 lb 5 oz. little guy.   As soon as he came, they whisked him away and attached him to countless tubes and monitors.  I didn't get to see him for several hours, and, despite the fact that I had told everyone in the hospital that I intended to breastfeed, they didn't allow me to nurse him until late in the afternoon the day after he was born.  By that time, of course, they had given him several bottles, so he wanted absolutely nothing to do with this working-so-hard-to-eat thing.  We were in the hospital for 8 days, and it took every hour of those 8 days to get him to latch on and actually nurse properly.  That doesn't sound too bad, does it?  Only 8 days?

Oh. My. Gosh.  It was so hard.  Of course, him being my first I was totally clueless about every aspect of it, but I am telling you, sleep deprivation and hormones coupled with a baby who won't eat and doctors telling you that they HAVE TO EAT NOW makes for one of the hardest things I have ever done.  This leads me to #2.

#2:  It hurts.

I actually heard someone say once that as long as your baby has a good latch, it should never hurt.

They lied.

Ladies, there is no way that this is not going to hurt in the beginning.  It just does.  I am talking toe-curling, can't talk to you right now, does this baby have a full set of teeth, PAIN.  And for me, with all 5 babies, it lasted about 3 weeks.  Then, all of a sudden you realize. 

Hey.  I love this.   And then….

 #3:  Despite all the hard parts, you're hooked.

Before Cody was born, I remember saying, "I am just going to see what happens.  I would like to breastfeed, but if I can't for some reason, I'm not going to worry about it."  But, friends, after just one time of getting to snuggle up to that sweet little guy and feed him, knowing that I had the best nourishment that he needed right there, I was hooked.  There was no way I was giving this up.  I was determined to make it work.   This leads me to #4….

 #4:  Lactation consultants are actually angels.

Ok, well, maybe not ACTUAL angels, but pretty darn close.  I would never have been able to nurse my first baby without the help of lactation consultants.  Those blessed ladies were right there at every feeding - tossing him around to wake him up, telling me what to do, how to hold him, what to try, how to pump, and answering about 500 million questions that I had.  And it didn't stop after the first baby.  Every. Single. Baby I have had I pestered those poor ladies with my phone calls and questions.  You wouldn't think one could come up with that many questions by baby #5, but trust me…you can.   Every baby is different and so is nursing them!   All that to say, lactation consultants are just plain amazing.


#5:  You suddenly feel like Superwoman when you set your baby on a scale.

There is just something about knowing that every ounce your baby gained came from YOU.  All of that hard work, the 23 out of the 24 hours of the day you spent nursing (ok slight exaggeration here, but I am telling you some days it seemed pretty close) - it all pays off when you see that chubby little baby smiling up at you from that scale.  You just think…."Wow.  I did that." 

#6:    God makes us sit down for a reason.

I cannot count how many times I have been super busy and thought, "Gosh, it would be so much easier if someone else could feed him/her a bottle right now"….and then I sit down.  And I realize….I needed this.  I needed to sit.  I needed to rest.  I needed to snuggle my baby.  I needed to relax.   I needed to SLOW DOWN.   I really think that God designed it this way because moms DO need to rest - especially at the beginning, newborn, crazy-tired stage.    He knows we have a million things to do - the list never ends - and if we weren't MADE to sit down - we would probably just keep on going and never take time to rest and just enjoy this precious gift.  God knew we needed time to love and snuggle that baby as much as that baby needs that time to be loved and snuggled by Mama.  There have been so many times I have just felt so thankful that I am the ONE who can feed my sweet baby - because I just love that time with him/her.

#7:  You look in your fridge/freezer several times a day just to peek at your milk supply because it is just SO. COOL.

This especially applies to working mamas.  I worked outside the home full-time while nursing my first two babies, and I remember coming home and whipping out this bag of milk to show JD (my husband), saying, "Look at this!!!  I got ___ oz. today!!  Isn't that so cool?"  While he never got nearly as excited as I did, he knew it was my way of taking care of our babies even while I had to be away from them.  My breaks and lunches filled with fun conversations with co-workers had been exchanged for sitting alone in my classroom (I was a teacher) listening to the whoosh-whoosh of my pump.  And for all that hard work I was so proud of every ounce.   I have heard breastmilk called liquid gold, and I can tell you, that is honestly how I felt about it.

 

#8.  Plugged ducts and mastitis stink.  Need I say more?

This one has been a constant plague for me.  As it turns out I am one of those lucky moms who tends to get this really often.   With my 6-month-old that I am currently nursing, I was getting a plugged duct about 1-2 times a week until I discovered Sunflower Lecithin (recommended by my awesome lactation consultant, of course) a few weeks ago.   That has helped TREMENDOUSLY.  Read more about what I have done that has helped with this here.  

I do want to add, though, that even through the pain of mastitis and plugged ducts over and over (and it really is miserable), I have never thought of quitting nursing before my year mark that I personally go for.  I only say that to help you see how truly wonderful it is if you are reading this and just considering breastfeeding.  It is too awesome to give up - totally worth the occasional pain that these problems can cause.    

#9:  Nursing covers are a pain.

Ok.  Seriously.  Picture a 90 degree day.  Now snuggle a sweaty, squirmy little baby up to you.  Now throw a BLANKET over the top.  Ugh.  Who wants to eat with a blanket over their head anyway????  I have tried some of the fancy, cute nursing covers and have hated every one of them.   But I also know that when in public, I personally need to be covered while nursing.  With baby #4, a friend introduced me to some swaddle blankets that are PERFECT for nursing covers.  They are super soft and lightweight and I absolutely love them.  My favorite brand is SwaddleDesigns, and I got them at Target.  Can't say enough about them.  Wish I had 20 of them.  Use them as burp rags, blankets for covers, etc.  A great size for covering babies while nursing as they are 46"x46". 

This is a picture of little Paul on his SwaddleDesigns Blanket.  There is always one near!

#10:  Tinted Car Windows Are Sometimes See-Through.

Just want to throw this one out there…in some lights apparently it is super easy to see into a back seat.  So when you park somewhere to hop into the back seat to feed a screaming infant and you are in a hurry, make sure there is not a handful of youngsters in the car next to you before you yank your shirt up/down.  The sun might just let them see more than what you had anticipated.  Whoops.

#11:  Your style may change.

Suddenly, when you get dressed in the morning you are not so much worried about what looks cute as much as what is easiest to nurse in.  Comfort and ease, folks.  That is my motto.

#12: Breastfeeding can sometimes feel like a workout.    

Enjoy the snuggly newborn nursing, ladies, because pretty soon that sweet little bundle is going to be throwing punches.  Always for me it happens around 5 months - they suddenly feel like they have to see the world - while still latched on.  They discover your hair.  They punch you…HARD.  They take 2 swallows and then turn to giggle at siblings.   And best yet…they get TEETH and want to try those out.  Fun times.

But these "workout" sessions can also be some of the sweetest.  You get to watch them discover new things and look up at you and smile.  Seriously - that is just the best thing ever.

 #13:  Knowing how great breastfeeding is for baby is such a stress reducer.

I feel so much better knowing that my baby is as well protected health-wise as he/she could possibly be because I am nursing.  For me, it just takes away so much of the stress when it comes to cold and flu season, etc.  I know I am doing all that I can, and that just makes me feel so much better. 

 #14:  Trying to avoid on-demand feeding is too demanding.

Anyone who knows me can tell you - I am not a "scheduley" person.   I don't have set times for pretty much anything, and I am quite frequently late.  That being said, none of my babies have been on "feeding schedules".   I tried it.  I listened to someone who told me that babies should not eat more frequently than every 2 hours.  And so, often, with baby #1, I held him screaming for an hour until I was allowed to feed him again.  Then I realized. 

This is dumb.   And it is so much more stressful for both of us.

I know that I am sometimes hungry and thirsty at various intervals throughout the day - not set times - and I think that my baby is, too.   I don’t want to "hold him off" if he is thirsty or hungry.  So - what works best for me - is to just go with the flow, especially in the early, tiny days.  Eventually we get to the point where we are on a schedule   - it just happens that way as they grow.  But until then - we just breastfeed wherever baby is hungry and whenever he needs to.  It just works for us.

 

#15:  You become so comfortable with nursing it seems weird when others are uncomfortable.

I could nurse anywhere, anytime.  It doesn’t really faze me anymore.  Walking through a grocery store, at someone else's house…I would even nurse in the church pew if I thought it wouldn’t offend people.  The thing is - when I breastfeed I am not exposed for the world to see.  As a matter of fact, I am so covered when I am nursing that people see LESS of me when I am nursing than when I am not.  But some people are just really uncomfortable with it - even when you are under a blanket.  It's like they can't handle what they know is going on UNDER the blanket.  *Gasp*  They do that thing where they look anywhere but at you.  Even when they are talking to you.  It is so weird.   There was a lady who had about half a shirt on in the mall one day who even did that.  I wanted to scream, "I SEE MORE OF YOU THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY SEE OF ME!!!" 

Oh, well. 

 

I knew so little about nursing when I started out, and I hope this list helps encourage some other new moms that read this.  Know that the beginning is hard - but so worth it, so hang in there.  Mastitis and plugged ducts can be discouraging, but there are things you can do that help.  For every hard part about breastfeeding, there are a 10 other wonderful things about it that make it worth every second.  Most importantly, it is a way that we can selflessly give our baby the thing he/she needs most to be healthy and thrive and get off to a great start - just how God designed it.  I marvel at His wonderful design!

Tips For Dealing With Recurrent Plugged Ducts and Mastitis

*I am not a doctor, and I don't even play one on TV.  These are just things that were recommended by my lactation consultants that have helped me!

1. Get rid of tight-fitting bras or bras with underwire.

2. Get as much sleep as possible.  (I always find this one funny, and quite impossible with a new baby).

3.  Drink lots of water.

4.  When your breast gets that familiar bruised/painful/or hard/blocked feeling, try these things:

             -Soak in a hot bath, or apply moist heat to the affected area.

-Immediately nurse baby, and then pump just to make sure that he emptied the breast       completely.

-While nursing/pumping, massage affected area to try to release any blockages.

5.  Use Sunflower Lecithin to resolve issues and help prevent this from happening again.  I take this kind  and I take 1 - 1200 mg capsule 3x a day.   This has helped me so much.

Hope these things help!  Feel free to email me if you have more questions - I don't know if I can answer them, but I can try!

Finding My Delight

I have always found it amazing how children can grow up in the exact same household, with the exact same set of parents and all turn out so very differently.  All of my kids are so different.  They are so unique and so special in their own little cute, quirky ways.  Cody has more get-up-and-go than I could ever hope to have.  He is seriously moving at 100 mph all the time.  The boy gets into these modes where he is just moving from one thing to the next, helping, helping, helping.   When I ask him to do something for me, he always does it right away and never complains about it EVER.  He loves to wake up early and get the day started.  He gets up in the morning and makes phone calls before I even get out of bed.  He calls my my mom, my dad, my husband…anyone whose number he can get, actually.  If you want to get on his calling list, just let me know.   He always has LOTS to say.  If you want to know information about us…just ask him.  He'll tell ya.  He's our talker, mover, worker.

Then there is Annie.  She is just the kindest, sweetest, most considerate little thing you will ever meet.  She is forever patient and sweet to her 4 brothers.  Jack's favorite saying right now is, "Annie.  Nice."  That really just sums it up.  She is just….nice.  She would never hurt a fly.  Actually, last week I was knocking wasp nests down off of my front porch with a broom, and she ran to me SOBBING…"DON'T!!! NOW where will the wasps live????"  She is so very sensitive….I just have to look at her somewhat crossly and my disciplining job is over.  She just melts. 

Then there is little Rafe.  Rafey.  Also sweet as can be….but he kinda knows it, and loves to take advantage of it.  He loves to snuggle and rock and he, too, is quite a sensitive little guy.  Rarely is in much trouble - although he and Jack tend to butt heads frequently.  He loves to make us laugh.  When he gets on a roll with someone laughing he doesn't want to stop.  He is just a comedian.  However, when I ask Rafe to do me a favor, you can count on a response kinda like this…"Ugh.  My legs are soooooooo tired.  This bowl is soooooo heavy.  The light is off upstairs.  It is soooooo far away.  My fingers are tired.  I have wobbly legs."  And that is just…Rafey.

Paul, of course, is just developing that sweet little personality, and JD and I often wonder what he will be like here in a few more months.  He is just sweet as can be at 4 months - just starting to smile and babble.  As I mentioned before….he does love arms.

And then….there is Jack.  Jack-Jack, as we like to call him.  Jack has definitely been the one that has kept us hopping the most.  It's so funny because around other people he is soooo quiet.  People always say that he is so sweet and quiet and shy.  And JD and I say….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!   And that is where this story leads…..(yes, I do have a point to this…I think)

Let me share with you about my little Jack.   Jack gets into…..EVERYTHING.  He does not stop moving.  EVER.  If he is quiet for more than 10 seconds…FIND HIM.  FAST.  If you are talking to me on the phone, it sounds like I have some tic where I yell out, "STOP!  NO!  DON'T DO THAT!" in between every sentence - I am talking to Jack.  He dumps out salt shakers on the kitchen table.  He throws squishy sand all OVER the kitchen.  He writes with sharpies on the kitchen floor, himself, the tables, the counters.  He sneaks out the door and into the wide, beautiful world to play.  He empties bookshelves.  He dumps cups of water out of the bathtub onto the floor.  He grabs toys from his siblings and RUNS.  He gets up on the computer chair and types as fast as he can and as much as he can before someone hears the keys and comes running.  (He somehow puts this darn computer into some kind of a sleep mode, and to this day I CANNOT figure out how he does it).  He gets into the pantry and steals…anything, really.  He is constantly pushing chairs up to the counters in the kitchen to see what he can find…butter, knives, toasters, bread rising in the sink, the list goes on forever. 

That is just the beginning, folks.  That is like, morning.  Between 10 and 11. It is absolutely exhausting.  So when Paul was born, it got really hard, because see….when he is doing those things, I have to go GET him.  And yet…I was spending approximately 22 hours a day nursing a baby.  Jack loved this.  He took advantage of my full arms to the fullest.   So about this time I was spending most of my time telling Jack, "NO!!!!!" 

And, honestly, folks….I was just downright frustrated.  I was tired…so tired.  And he made me MOVE.  Run after him, chase him, clean up after him, stop nursing to stop him from doing something naughty.  And in case you haven't gathered from up to this point….it was pretty much nonstop.  All. Day. Long.

So here is where my confession comes in.

As much as I love that little boy…SO, SO much…I was not BEING very loving.  I spent so much of my time running after him and telling him no, that is pretty much all he was hearing from me.  I ran across this article one day, and I'm sorry to say I cannot remember where it was.  But it talked about letting your children know that you delight in them.   Talk about feeling convicted.  Wow.  With Jack, without even realizing it, my impatience and tiredness had stolen my delight right out of our relationship.  I had quit looking for good things that he did because I was too busy seeing the messes.   I needed to do something about this quickly, but had no idea what to do.  So I did the only thing I knew could fix this problem.

I prayed.

I prayed that the Lord would help me to truly delight in my little boy again.  To see in him the wonderful little guy that he really is.  To look beyond the messes and orneriness and just take time to LOVE him.  And do you know what?

The Lord answered my prayers.

It was so simple, really.  What does every child need?  Attention.  Love.  Hugs.  Snuggles.  PRAISE.  So I started looking - and do you know what?  He does so many things that merit that praise.  I was just too busy to notice.  If he was good for 2 minutes I was trying to get something done quickly.  When I set Paul down for a nap, I was too busy to hold him because I was racing around to catch up on laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. 

So I stopped.  And I started noticing.  When he did something good, I told him what a good boy he was.  When he wanted held, I took a minute and picked him up.  When he wanted a story, I set Paul down and read him one.  And do you know what?  His behavior changed so much.  He listened better.  He didn't get into stuff as much.  And the best part is that I have started to see all of the sweetness in him.  He holds Paul's hand in the car during EVERY car trip.  He loves to help me in the kitchen.  He notices the coolest things - trucks, birds, tractors - and gets sooo excited about them.  He shares his toys so nicely when he is asked nicely.  He helps pick up when I ask him to.  He loves to paint.  He loves to snuggle. 

And, most importantly, he NEEDS me.  He needs me to show him how much I love him.  He needs me to be patient while I train him.  He needs me to pick him up and hold him.   He needs to be rocked and snuggled. 

He needs to know that I delight in him.

He needs to hear it and see it.   So now I tell him as often as I can, "Jack, you are a delight to me!"  And he smiles and says, "Ya…light."  And I ask him as often as I can if I can hold him, snuggle him, read to him, etc.  It has made a world of difference.  And do you know what?  Mostly, the problem was just my attitude.  It wasn't Jack at all.

He still gets into stuff…cause he's Jack.  He is ornery as can be….just Jack.  I still have to say 138 times a day, "NO, Jack!"  But now….that isn't all I see or say.  I see all the goodness about him because the Lord showed me how I can delight in my little boy through all those messes and my own exhaustion, and say to him with heartfelt meaning, "Little Jack - you are a delight to me!"

Pull Up A Chair

I spend a vast majority...like 90%...of my time during the day in the kitchen.  Or at least it seems that way.  Filling sippy cups, getting snacks, washing hands and faces, getting snacks, making coffee, cooking meals, warming up coffee, cleaning up meals, getting snacks.  (I would like to blame all that snack-getting on the kids...but I just discovered these Ghirardelli chocolate squares at Costco, and...enough said.) 

But really, most of the time I am in the kitchen, I am cooking or baking.  I'm usually in a hurry when I'm cooking.  I'm not what you would call....a really good planner.  Like...not at all.  My mom will have meat out of the freezer at 9 AM for her dinner...but me?  At 5:00, I'm running down to the freezer to pull something out and at least get it thawing before my husband gets home, so it at least appears that I have a plan.  Yes, I definitely need to work on my meal planning, but that's another post entirely.

On top of not being prepared, I also have a 3-month-old baby who loves arms.  He especially loves them when it is time to make dinner.  So when I set him down to start getting dinner ready, I have to be in turbo mode here, folks.  I have very little time before he or someone else will need some arms, and I have to cook FAST.

And then I hear it.....the sound of the chair being dragged along the kitchen floor - right up to the counter.  The sound of little hands and feet climbing up, and the little voice (or in my 2-year-olds case, the smiley face) that says..."All ready to help, Mommy!" 

Now I would love to tell you that each time they do this, I am ready to greet them with a smile and perfect job just for them.  And sometimes, that's true.  But there are days I cringe when I hear that chair, because...I'm in a HURRY!  And at this point, most of my "helpers" are still in learning mode, and their "helping" is slowing me down.  Flour is all over the counter and something is crunching under my feet. I'm fishing cheese out of the brownie batter and trying to keep track of whose turn it is to stir what and when.  My stirring spoon is always sticky and gooey because it was dropped into the bowl.  Are you getting a mental picture, here?

So yesterday when my little Annie-girl came in to help, I was in "hurry" mode.  I was running late (because that is what I do), and I was trying to roll and cut out noodles for dinner.   She walked in from outside, said, "Oh, good!" and started dragging that chair right up to the counter.  I started to say, "Actually, honey, I'm not really needing any help right now...." but the look on her little face this time stopped me.  She just looked so darn excited.  So I gave her the rolling pin and let her take a few rolls.  Gave her the pizza cutter and let her take a few swipes.  And then...something really cool happened.

She was organizing the cut noodles for me into piles on the counter, and my mind was somewhere else.  Probably on the chicken.  Or the laundry.  Or the fact that I might only have 27 seconds until Paul needed arms again.  But from the corner of my mind, I heard her say, "And here is Moses, leading the Israelites."  Snapped back to attention, I looked down, and there it was.  Moses.  On my kitchen countertop.  Leading the Israelites.  Okay, well, kind of.  It was a big long noodle, standing in front of a huge gigantic pile of noodles.  Then she said, in her whiniest voice, "We're hungry!  We're thirsty!"  She grabbed a handful of flour and started dumping it all over the Israelites.  "Here is some manna for you!"  And again, in the super whiny voice, "We're sick of manna!  We want something else!  We are tired!  We can't go any farther!" 

At this point I am torn between laughing hysterically at this scene in front of me, and utter amazement that I could have borne a child with such a vivid imagination.  And then I realized....I almost missed this.  My lack of planning, my "need" to rush, my desire to just get it done the easy way - almost cost me this beautiful moment in time with my little girl.  A moment when I got to see her imagination at it's best.  A moment when I got to see that all the Bible story telling really is getting planted in that wonderful little mind of hers.  A moment where I got to laugh with her and let her see how much I enjoy just being with her.  A moment I will always remember, and maybe she will, too.

I'm so thankful I let her pull up that chair.

I'm sure there will still be times when I cringe a little when I hear that chair coming into the kitchen, and there will still be times when I just have to say no.  But I'm going to put this picture on my fridge to help me remember that when I am just saying "no" because I don't feel like cleaning up the extra mess or because I am too tired, I just might miss out on a moment like this.

*Picture is of Moses, leading the Israelites through the wilderness...noodle style.

 

Letting Go

Ok, so letting go and letting the kids just "do their own thing" when it comes to crafts, cooking, projects, etc., is pretty much one of the hardest things EVER for me. I cringe when Annie's dollhouse gets untidy (which is funny because my real house......never tidy), and I had to actually bite my tongue to keep from asking her why she moved the KITCHEN in the dollhouse UPSTAIRS?!?!?!?!?! When one of them wants to help cook, I am like a helicopter hovering over every movement and I pretty much have to tie my hands behind my back to keep from reshaping cookie cut outs and to keep from grabbing the spoon back when things start to slop out of the bowl. 
 

That being said, when I asked Annie what she wanted her birthday party theme to be this year, and she said, "Travis and Ol' Yeller"......I was actually not very excited. See.....that's not very girly. Or cute. And most importantly it doesn't have matching plates and napkins. But ever since we read the book Ol' Yeller last fall, she has been in love with the story. She has turned her Playmobil people into Ol' Yeller characters and they are her absolute favorite thing to play. And she has THE BEST imagination of any person I have ever met in my life. So, after I offered a few other suggestions that DID have matching plates and napkins, she politely declined and said, "Old Yeller". So....I very hesitantly said okay. 
 
We sat down today and made her cake together...Annie and I. I gave her free reign on the topping of the cake without being bossy about where to put things (Ok, I was a little bossy, but MUCH better than normal) And the end result of this Ol'Yeller birthday cake topped by my sweet girl - absolutely perfect. When I looked at her smiling at that cake when we were finished, I realized that there was no other cake in the world that would have been more perfect than this one. It is just....Annie. As it turns out, her party is going to be perfect, cute, and matching - cause it matches my Annie girl.

Next week I will be starting a support group for moms like me. Items on the agenda:
1. Clean your own house and quite worrying about the dollhouse.
2. It's okay if the heart shaped cookie looks like a blob.
3. What difference does it make if the stuff slops out of the bowl - your kitchen is always a mess anyway.
4. No one cares about matching plates and napkins. Seriously. No one.
5. What to do when your 6-year-old makes better cakes than you do.
And most importantly....
5. The end result of letting your kids be creative and not butting in is so much better than your dumb adult idea.

*I take no credit for the creation of this adorable cake....this was all Annie :)*
*Cake is a made-up scene from Old Yeller....Travis and Arlis walking down a road when they see a bobcat going after their calf - and Travis has his gun aimed at the bobcat, ready to save the day.* (there is no way in the world my unimaginative mind could have come up with this).