Confessions of a Homeschool Mom

I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life.  A lot.  I started out as a pizza maker, then waitressed my way through college.  Finished college and taught first grade for 5 years until I couldn’t take one more single moment away from my then 2 babies and quit to become a medical transcriptionist so I could work from home.  Did Pampered Chef for awhile.  Opened up an Etsy business selling hand painted wooden signs.  Now along with my sign business my newest venture is selling Matilda Jane Clothing. 

I really like to succeed when it comes to jobs.  I kind of go into hyperdrive and want to pour myself into it.  And it’s so much fun to see success, too.  To get good evaluations, sell lots of stuff, and get compliments on your work. 

There is a job I have, though, that is more important to me than any of the above.  It’s being a mama.  I think most moms would say that.  But ever since I got to quit teaching to stay at home, I have felt so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity.  I remember what it was like to leave my babies each day at daycare and cry all the way to work, miss them all day long, and constantly pray for a way to be able to stay home with them.  That time away makes every minute I get to stay home with them even more precious to me.

Five of my precious babies!

All 6 of my kiddos

But I had this plan when I quit teaching.  I was going to be SUPER. MOM.  I mean, I wasn’t working, so I was going to have all this time, right?  We would do crafts and have schedules and be sooo organized.  We would do activities and play dates.  Dinner would be planned and on time every day.  Laundry would always be caught up.  The house would be clean. 

Oh yes.  Super Mom.

Crayons in Super Mom World

Then came reality. 

Crayons In Real Life

Apparently when you are home all day – it leaves so many more opportunities for the house to be messy.  There is no extra time because you are making more meals and cleaning them up and of course taking care of babies all day.  Also, even though I am at home, I’m also working from home, so there’s that.  Oh, and organization?  WHAT?!?! I don’t even know what that is. 

I mean – I could definitely accomplish super mom.  I just need to never sleep again.  That’s all.

This job of being a Mama – and now a Homeschooling Mama – is So. Hard.  It is a wonderful blessing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the WORLD.  But it’s HARD. 

I’m sitting here looking around in my school room.  And it is SUCH a MESS.  There are seriously toys everywhere.  Papers are left scattered where Rafe decided to do one of his cutting and pasting masterpieces.  There are sippy cups on the floor from bedtime.  There is a Playmobil village set up in one corner.  If I were to take you on a tour of the rest of the house, you would probably say, “What do you DO all day!??!”  I know you would.  Well, you might not say it out loud because you’re nice, but you would think it.  I know because I think it too.  I get to the end of the day and seriously wonder what in the WORLD I actually accomplished. 

Even worse than the messy house and all of the undone chores is that guilt trip I give myself after my kids are in bed about all of the ways I could have been a better mom and wife during the day.  Oh my goodness, I could lay awake all night just counting the number of ways I failed.  I should have read a longer book at bedtime.  I should have made a better lunch.  I should have made my husband’s lunch.  I should have been more sympathetic when ___ got hurt.  I shouldn’t have lost my patience over ___.  I should have sat down and played with them.  I should have been a better listener.  The list goes on and on and on…..

No one is going to come into my house and give me an A+ evaluation.  I will never get a gold star for organization.  I definitely don’t see a raise happening in the near future for my performance.  And if you ask me, according to my grading scale, most days I get a big fat F. 

But here is the wonderful thing.  God doesn’t use my grading scale.  He also doesn’t use any other human scale.  God cares only about the things I do that last for Eternity when it comes to being a wife and mother.  And I’m here to tell you that a clean room does not last for eternity.  It doesn’t even last 5 minutes.  The other wonderful thing is that even though I fail on the Eternity scale every single day, His Grace covers that too.  It covers all of it.  And that makes me breathe a huge sigh of relief.

So as I sat down today to get organized and map out our school year, after 6 years of homeschooling now, I can definitely say that things are not going to go as I plan.   I do not have a school in my home…my home is a school.  That means there are messes, phone calls, days off to play or shop or can applesauce, and definitely crying babies and toddlers.  There are days when I am the worst teacher ever.  There are days when it is perfect and everything goes as planned (although rare).  But this year I’m going to try to change my goals a bit.

My main focus is going to be on what will last for Eternity.  When my children are grown, if they know how to keep a clean house and are A+ students, that will mean nothing if they don’t know the Lord as their Savior. 

So here are my main goals for this school year:
1. Be intentional about our scripture memorization plan and stick with it.  Honestly, I’m starting small.  I have tried countless memorization programs and I always fall off the wagon.  I’m going for a verse a week for all of us to learn together.  If you are interested in my plan, I’ll share it with you! 
2. Be intentional about making sure each child hears a Bible story each day.  It doesn’t have to be long.  It can be one I tell or read at bedtime.  But there needs to be one every day.
3.  Use every opportunity I have to turn their hearts toward the Lord.  This may be during sibling fights, ungrateful attitudes, and disobedience.  Or it may be praising them during the times when they are doing things that God would love to see. 
4.  Model the Godly behaviors I want to see in them.  I can’t expect Godly attitudes and behaviors from my kids when I don’t model them.  I need to show forgiveness, patience, kindness, and love.  This is not always easy.  Actually it’s super hard.  But during the times when I mess up, one of the best things I can do is apologize to the kids and tell them how it was wrong and why.  They need to see how mistakes should be handled when they are made. 
5.  Pray daily for my children.  Pray that somehow, despite my mistakes, my children will grow up to serve the Lord. 

I know I will still fail.  But God knows that too, and He has taken care of that problem. 

The important thing is that I try my best and let his Grace cover the rest.

If you have set goals this year that count for Eternity, please share them!  I think practical application ideas are the best ways to get us going and it’s so great to share! 

There is a poem that I have framed in my school room that reminds me of what is most important on the hard days.  It's a poem by Roy Lessin:  

Continue On
A woman fretted over the usefulness of her life.
She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother.
She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.
At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.
"Is it worth it?" she often wondered, "Is anything I'm doing making any difference?"
It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still, small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart.
"You are a wife and a mother because that is what I have called you to be.
Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye, but I notice.
Most of what you give is done without remuneration,
But I am your reward.
Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support.
Your influence on him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. 

I bless him through your service and honor him through your love.
Your children are precious to me.

Even more precious than they are to you. 

I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me.
What you invest in them is an offering to Me. 

You may never be in the public spotlight, but your obedience 

shines as a bright light before Me.
Continue on.  Remember, you are my servant.
Do all to please Me."

I’m planning on doing a second post on our large family small homeschool room with a couple of organization things I’ve tried that are helping me!   Stay tuned!